just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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