i need an iv and a liver transplant
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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