very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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