so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
