i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize