I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
