You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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