I got chris browned last night
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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