Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
