I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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