Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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