Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
