it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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