just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
