Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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