What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
