for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
