I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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