If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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