I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize