All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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