Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
