only if we run a train.
done.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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