I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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