glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
