So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
