I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
