Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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