you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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