What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
How external is "for external use only"?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
