I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
