Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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