like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
