hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
