remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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