READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
