And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
