I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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