Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I need help removing her.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
