Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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