White coat. Heels.
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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