does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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