I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You made out with two different species that night
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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