Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
