That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
