At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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