Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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