I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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