if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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