worst night to have a conscience
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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