I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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