Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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