Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
