Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
