ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just high enough for therapy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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