Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
