Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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