I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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