If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
